What even is this?

I was a mid 20s high school English literature teacher in Western Sydney, Australia. My English girlfriend and I have now left the Great Southern Land to become English language teachers to non-native speakers. I’m writing to my Mum because she loves this sort of thing and I’m an only child, and she therefore needs to know I’m still alive and for the time being capable of possibly producing some grandchildren for her in the future, maybe.